(Baby Beau a little over 7 weeks along)
We are about 10 weeks along with baby #3 or baby Beauregard as my Hubby calls it. When we went for our first OB-GYN appointment baby Beau was measuring about 5 days smaller than we thought, so we will go in for another appointment next week to check measurements and officially determine a due date. So right now we are technically about 10-11 weeks along, but 10 weeks is much easier!
So far this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride. I have been so much sicker with Beau than I was with the boys. I have no appetite at all so I have to make myself eat and there is almost nothing I can eat. I have the hardest time eating meat, this baby is going to make me a vegetarian and I am not very happy about it!
The only meat product I have been able to eat is turkey deli sliced on sandwiches (yes I follow all the precautions when eating deli meat when pregnant) but there cannot be too much turkey and there has to be a lot of bread to drown out the turkey taste.
Because I have had a hard time eating meats I have been worried that I am not taking in enough protein for me and baby Beau so I started drinking protein shakes once a day to try and add a little protein to me diet.
I know all of this will be totally worth it in the end and hopefully the sickness with pass quickly. I took about 18 zofran tablets throughout my entire pregnancy with the boys and with this baby I have had to take about 20 a week! It just has been so completely different. My family thinks because I have been so sick this baby must be a girl, my Mom even calls it a girl already. Who knows! Either way we will be excited!
I think the major difference between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with the boys has just been the adjustment to the idea of having another baby. Please don’t misunderstand me here, I truly believe children are an immense gift from God and I feel more than honored that God chose to put this baby in our family, but with the boys I had planned (I’m a serious planner) and was ready to have a baby, we tried for so long and our hearts could not have been more full of joy than the day we found out we were pregnant with the boys.
Since finding out we were expecting I have been in a state of disbelief. I know that sounds awful and I am so embarrassed to admit that, but it’s true. When I first had the positive pregnancy test I honestly thought well this may be a fluke. When I told Jeremy he was beyond ecstatic and I thought he was absolutely crazy!! I had blood work drawn and all my levels came back great indicating we were expecting, but I still thought, well maybe it’s just something weird going on. Even after our first OB-GYN appt when we saw the baby and its precious heartbeat I still couldn’t really believe we are going to have another baby.
I cannot believe I have been full of so much disbelief, but I was shocked when we found out baby Beau was on the way. When I would think about the baby I honestly thought about how the boys would adjust, would we have enough love to go around, how am I going to adequately care for 3 babies and have enough time for each of them, what about Jeremy and I’s relationship we just now got to a point where we can start focusing on us again and I am going to lose that. All these questions flooded my mind, among so many others, I just couldn’t think about the new baby without thinking about all of this.
Then it happened, like it always does, and God spoke very plain and clear to me. Jeremy and I were in church and we had actually put the boys in the church nursery for the first time (huge step for this mama and I have no idea when we will do it again). As we were sitting in church a young boy, around 2 years old, jumped out of his seat and started dancing and raising his hands to the worship music. Jeremy and I loved watching him and the joy the music brought to him, we even laughed about how that would be our boys one day.
As I watched this precious little one, God spoke to m hear saying “you see that, that is just a minuscule representation of the joy my children bring to my life.” He then went one to say “I wanted to give you this precious blessing as my gift to you, a small representation of the joy you give me each and every day, I want you to have that. I wanted you to receive this gift without asking, without trying, without questions and tears, without waiting, just a free gift. I want you to experience just a glimpse of the joy I experience from my children. That is why I gave you this gift, so that you home and heart may be full of joy”.
This was the moment I realized what a precious precious gift God has truly given us. As I spoke with God I told him how I knew this baby was a gift, but I just worried about how it would change our family and if I would truly be enough for all three little ones. He then said “You are not enough and you never will be, but I am enough and I will equip you to love and care for each one of these precious gifts I have given you and when you are not enough I will be enough for them.”
As I had this precious time with my amazing Savior I came to realize that none of my concerns mattered, none of my worries or fears mattered, God has chosen to bless our family immensely and any concerns or fears I may have are given to Him because I know He is in control and He is enough.
Since last weekend my heart has been so full of joy (and my all day sickness has actually gotten a little better). I cannot wait to meet our precious baby Beau, I cannot wait to get to know this little one growing inside of me. What an amazing gift, what a precious life! This baby is a gift and blessing for our family!
This pregnancy has been such a roller coaster of emotions for me, but from now on it will be a ride full of joy, excitement and anticipation for the day when we finally get to meet our new precious little one!