I know Valentine’s Day was a week ago, but it has taken me that long to process exactly what happened that day. I love holidays and always look forward to celebrating whenever we get a chance, but this year Valentine’s Day was awful.
We woke up early to three sick little ones. Jeremy was working from home because his office building had caught on fire earlier in the week (long story). Him and I had a mis-communication that morning which did not start our day off in good way. Even still I was looking forward to the day and knew it was going to be great.
It was not….
By 10am all three of the boys were melting down and incredibly fussy. Someone had been crying non-stop, but I was determined to make it a fun day! I made the boys playdough and we enjoyed a few minutes of fun until Eli projectile vomited all over himself, the bouncy seat and the kitchen table (which the bouncy seat was sitting on).
I quickly got everything cleaned up and tried to get the boys to nap. Fast forward 2 hours later when no one napped and everyone was crying including me! Jeremy came into the kitchen and asked me how my day was and I just started crying! I couldn’t help it! I guess after having an entire day of toddlers crying it was my turn.
I decided to try and change my perspective and still try and have fun that day. You can always find beauty even in an awful day so I was looking for the joy. I tried to make the fun desserts I had planned for the evening even though we had to cancel our plans with our family due to sick kids.
While I was assembling the hot fudge sundae cake Noah came running into the kitchen and vomited everywhere! I went over to attend to him and clean up the mess when Ian came in the other entrance of the kitchen and promptly pulled my chocolate cake off the counter onto the floor!!
Jeremy heard the commotion and came into the kitchen to check on everyone and found me cleaning up vomit and my cake on the floor. As soon as he came into the kitchen I burst into tears! My second time to cry in one day! He was so gracious and kind. He hugged me and tried to save as much of the cake as he could. At least the parts that didn’t actually touch the floor.
I decided it was nap time and put the boys down to sleep and they actually slept! God knew I needed that!
During the boys’ nap time I was telling one of my good friends about how awful my day was and she surprised me by bringing a heart shaped chocolate to me! She is so amazing and thoughtful! I still had hope for a good Valentine’s Day and I was determined that the evening was going to be great!
Once the boys got up we made heart shaped pizzas and played. Later that night Jeremy and I got to enjoy dinner together (with Eli of course) and ate almost all of the chocolate cake!
Throughout this last week I have thought a lot about Valentine’s day and how awful and amazing it was. It reminded me that many times life does not go a planned.
Most days I don’t have it all together. My house is a wreck, I can’t remember the last time I dusted and to be honest I may wear the same shirt two days in a row to avoid the extra laundry. We hardly ever get out of the house because it’s hard getting out with three little ones 18 months and under and there are a lot of times that I feel like I am doing this mommy thing all wrong.
Valentine’s day I waved my white flag of surrender, but I also realized it is ok to admit that some days are too much. It is ok to cry and say you are frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel like as mothers nowadays we are expected to do it all with a smile on our face, but that is just not possible. Admitting we have bad days does not mean we are failures, it simply means we are humans and we cannot do it all by ourselves.
Valentine’s Day reminded me that life is about perspective. I have to change my perspective and find the beauty in all the vomit (literally). I knew I could let this day be awful or choose joy and find the delight in the evening. I decided it didn’t matter. Our day didn’t have to be perfect, our Valentine’s day wasn’t going to be romantic and I was perfectly ok with that.
Dealing with difficulties puts the joy in perspective and makes it that much sweeter. That evening was amazing. Ian helped me make pizzas, no one threw a fit and most of all no one got sick! I chose to find the joy and hold on to that. I decided to be ok with the imperfections, it was what it was and there was nothing I could do about it.
Instead of trying to do it all I have to let God fill in my gaps. I have to realize I cannot do it all or hold it all together. Through my weakness as a mother Christ can shine through and fill me. I have to let Him manage my days and look for the joy in the difficulties. Even though motherhood is hard and there are days that are just down right awful, there is always joy. Changing our perspective and finding the joy can turn awful days into precious memories.
Even still, there will be some days that will just be truly awful and that is when we praise The Lord for tomorrow and thank Him for the joy the morning will bring!